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Real reality?

November 6, 2019 / Jayme

I saw a short film that explored the idea of reality as a subjective experience. The main character entered a virtual world where he established a life. A trusted individual within the virtual world convinced him that it was indeed the “real world” and encouraged him to destroy the device that linked him to the original world thus no longer allowing him to “wake up.” The family members of the character were able to see on screen his experiences in the virtual world. They watched in horror as he destroyed the device that could bring him back to them. They were left with their sorrow and his catatonic body.

This idea of which reality certainly illustrates a true conundrum. Since we are on the doorstep of virtual reality at present, it isn’t difficult to imagine this path. It’s a matter of time before virtual reality will be so perfect that it isn’t discernible from the original reality. So if fake reality feels the same as real reality, then how does one discern which is real and which is not? The answer is clear. It doesn’t matter! Reality is what the experiencer believes it to be. There is no such thing as an objective reality. Every person creates their own reality through experience and thought. Each of our realities are overlapping with others to create a consensus on a “real reality.” Is this collective “real reality” then real? Of course not. It is merely the human reality. Since there is no way to know an objective reality then no reality is the “real thing.” Each person’s reality is real to them, but no one else. This difference of perspective is the source of all human conflict. That aside, I want to explore deeper.

The film, The Matrix, touched on the false idea of an objective reality. All of humanity believed itself to be rooted in reality when in fact what was real for humans was not what was real for machines. The machines were using human bodies as energy sources. To accomplish this, they created a virtual world for humans to exist in. This illustrates the point made earlier that reality is purely subjective. Multiple subjective realities can communicate and agree on a collective subjective reality as did the humans and the machines in the film, but being that it was a film, it also wasn’t real!

Human beings have more or less agreed on an objective reality. We believe we live in separate countries on the planet Earth within this solar system found on the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy where everything is made up of something. We believe we are born and that we will one day die. These ideas are widely accepted as reality because they are passed on from generation to generation. Also, we have this wonderful religion called science that perpetuates these ideas, but I digress. Plants and animals have their own reality as well. Imagine how bees and ants communicate with each other when describing a human being swatting at them or stepping on them. From bee and ant perspective, are humans home and property owners that run errands, play with their children, watch tv, and go to the mall? Heck no! Humans are these giant moving entities that appear suddenly to occasionally disrupt progress and sometimes kill fellow hive and colony members.

Every living being experiences life from its unique perspective, and thus its own version of reality. This begs the question, how can everything seem real but also be perceived so differently? The answer lies in the intelligent design of the universe. This is an extremely nuanced concept and requires personal experience, but I will touch on it briefly so as to attempt to put things into perspective. The Creator has designed a virtual reality which we call life. The purpose of this infinite virtual world is to explore and discover our true nature. By this means, everything we experience is illusion born from nothingness. Nothing is real, and yet everything is all there is. Without experience, there is nothing. The foundation of all experience cannot be rooted in anything because then that thing would be outside of reality. Thus, everything comes from nothing and nothing is all that there is. This concept of everything and nothing simultaneously, is the true non-dual state. Its packaged so simply that comprehension should be effortless, and yet its probably one of the most difficult truths to bear. It’s the most delicious strange loop, and it makes me smile everything I think about it.

Another mind-bending film, Existenz, also uses the virtual world to question the nature of reality. The plot is a sticky web much too convoluted to explain here. However, it’s a beautiful strange loop that calls into question what we assume about reality. A line from the film that caught my attention was, “You have to play the game in order to find out why you’re playing the game.” This sentence sounds esoteric or even pretentious, and for good reason. This is a key insight into the game of life. Only when one has properly seen through the illusion does the game and its mechanics take shape. What a glorious game it is!

The ideas stated here may seem radical and the stuff of science-fiction. They may be hard to conceptualize and even harder to embody. I think the virtual reality argument I posed earlier is the best way to convey this concept of no “real reality.” We are alive in an exciting time where virtual reality is in its infancy. This is the beginning of a new phase for humanity. Until now, we have assumed there is such a thing as the “real world.” Many of us use the terms “the real world” and “in real life” regularly without even thinking about it. We take for granted our experiences because they are so vivid and seemingly, “real.” The truth is, the only thing that is real is what is in our direct experience. What we experience in this moment is all that exists. The catch, however, is that this moment is fleeting and in a constant state of flux. Once its gone, it no longer exists. It becomes a memory, a thought the mind clings to. Now is all there is. Enjoy it.

Diatoms, Martians, and cyclical nature, oh my!

October 23, 2019 / Jayme

The founding thirteen colonies of the United States didn’t work out as England had planned. At least not in the long term that is. The goal of King James I was that the colonies would be a means for amassing more wealth for England while alleviating population burdens on the country. In addition, it was an opportunity for England to expand its empire further. Other countries such as France, Spain, Denmark, and Switzerland also established colonies within the original thirteen. Things went well for about one hundred seventy years until the American Revolution.

I use this example because the colonization of Mars is due to happen this century. I see a future where this exact scenario plays out. United States among other world powers with the resources to do so will send people and supplies to Mars to establish colonies. The founding generations will still identify as pioneers and heralds from the planet earth, but there will come a time when offspring will no longer share in that identification. They will consider themselves Martians. At some point, Martians will strive to claim their independence from Earth. There will be war because that’s how humans have always resolved conflict.

History repeats itself. This saying originates from a first century Roman historian, Quintus Curtius Rufus. The statement is widespread because it has been documented and witnessed throughout human history time and again. That said, no amount of studying history would have prevented the separation of the colonies nor will it change the outcome of the Martian Revolution. Humans are very slow to learn and apply what has been learned. I am speaking on a collective level rather than individual.

So, why don’t we learn from our mistakes? The answer is because humans perceive and make decisions from within their personal framework or perspective of the world. They think that circumstances are different and that they could never fall prey to or make the same mistakes as the next person. In other words, humans typically don’t think from a holistic perspective. That is the nature of the ego. It looks out from its narrow point of view and omits all others. The problem with studying history is that its too easy to get mired in locations, dates, and names. While that may be important to some, its really of no consequence on the grand existential level, which is of course what I am concerned with. If one looks at history holistically as a way of studying human motivation, reason, and perspective then learning can result.

Another reason students of history may not see the larger patterns and cycles play out is because western science operates from a materialist paradigm. This means that scientists see the universe in terms of matter reduced to the smallest of building blocks or parts. This view attempts to break down or dissect the universe. The materialist perspective sees only individuation thus failing to see unity.

Cycles are happening everywhere. The reason behind this is that everything, the earth, humans, the Milky Way, the universe, all of it, is one thing. God, consciousness, the Divine, Allah, Shiva, tat tvam asi. There are many names, but they all refer to the same thing. Its all one and as such, there are patterns and cycles that repeat themselves throughout. It is the nature of this reality to be that way.

A wonderful example of the cyclical nature of life on earth can be found in the way in which we get our oxygen. Many people, myself included until I was educated on this process, think that the Amazon rainforest is responsible for our oxygen supply. The fact is that all of the oxygen generated by the trees and plants in the rainforest is consumed by the living organisms residing there. However, the rainforest is a necessary component of the process. When trees pull water through their roots, it travels up the trunk and towards the branches where the leaves are. After the nutrients are absorbed the water then dissipates from the leaves and creates water vapor that forms above the forest in the form of clouds. These clouds then move westward to meet the Andes Mountains. There they generate rainfall and wash mineral and nutrient-rich sediment into the ocean. These nutrients supply hundreds of millions if not billions of diatoms (microscopic algae) with the food they need to carry on the process of photosynthesis. A byproduct of photosynthesis is oxygen. Diatoms are found all over the earth’s oceans and waterways and supply over 20% of earth’s oxygen. When they die, their microscopic shell remains in tact and it settles on the ocean floor. In some places, it is estimated that the ocean floor sediment is made up of one half mile of diatom carcasses. The Sahara desert was once a great body of water. In its present desert state, there are sandstorms so large they can be seen from space. Within the sand residue are millions of tons of diatom shells. These sandstorms carry debris over the Atlantic Ocean and deposit it into the Amazon rainforest where the minerals and diatom shells fertilize the plants and trees.

This one example illustrates how many components contribute to one process. This is the case all over the globe and even with all of reality. Existence could not be the way it is without everything that exists presently. Removing just one thing would result in a different reality. I know it seems radical, but you too can come to this realization for yourself. What we label as good as well as bad, are all necessary to the life process happening everywhere. This is why I say everything is perfect just as it is. It cannot be otherwise.

Enlightenment is a perspective

September 18, 2019 / Jayme

When I first became familiar with the term enlightenment, like most people I suspect, I had this idea of a singular moment where clouds parted and a divine light bathed me. I would then walk in the footsteps of monks and people would seek me out for advice. All my problems would cease and I’d live in bliss for the remainder of my days. Seems a little grandiose, I know, but there must be a reason I thought that. Ignorance played a great role to be sure, but isn’t that the way of it for anything we stumble upon for the first time? The story of the Buddha comes to mind. Supposedly, the Buddha was so overcome by the human problem of suffering that he vowed to find a solution. He sat under a bodhi tree for thirty days enduring starvation and the lack of any comforts. At the end of the thirty days he attains the perfect wisdom. It is this story that lends to the cultural beliefs we have today about enlightenment.

It is now my experience that enlightenment is not a singular moment. Rather it is a perspective ever progressing towards Truth. Do not confuse this with the everyday notion of truth. I am speaking of the Truth. There is but one. All the rest are delusions. I have become conscious of this. The difficulty however is Truth cannot be taught; in fact in trying to share this Truth with others it becomes less than. It has been said that the perfect teaching is silence. The only way to come to know Truth is by way of experience. It is up to each living being to experience Truth for themselves. This kind of awakening demands a complete recontextualization of everything one knows. This topic certainly warrants its own post, and that will be forthcoming.

Instead, I want to focus on enlightenment as a perspective. This will hearken back to my post titled, “Its all about perspective.” Each of us is a Buddha in this very moment. We are perfect manifestations of life experiencing perfection. It is our perspective that leads us to believe otherwise. Our beliefs shape our reality. Why else would there be such vastly different views of reality? Some believe life isn’t worth living because of the depths of their suffering. Others experience such joy and love that tears flow with each experience. Its all about perspective; if you believe life is miserable than that will be your experience. Conversely, if you believe it is the most remarkable gift, that too will be your experience. It is not enough to intellectually grasp what is being said here. You will have to contemplate and meditate on the power of belief for yourself. I realize the radical nature of these concepts, but this is the distilled adaptation. Anything less would be a perversion.

Upon realization that enlightenment isn’t a thing to apprehend or moment that transpires in time, but that this experience here is enlightenment, all I could do was laugh. It was the most genuine and deepest laugh I’d ever experienced. I am already a Buddha! We are all Buddhas! It may sound absurd to most people, but it is true. Again, you must experience it to comprehend the magnitude of what is being said. This is why the spiritual path is a very solitary experience. No one can do the heavy lifting for you. It is a hero’s journey inward fraught full of doubt, fear, and suffering. But also peace, love, and joy.

The spiritual journey is a shedding of the beliefs we hold about reality. This is the path to understanding our true nature; it is coming to know that we are everything and everything is us, and its all perfect. Enlightenment is the realization of this Truth, but it generally doesn’t happen in a singular moment. I say generally because there are cases of a single perspective shift occurring. Eckhart Tolle is the most notable. Exceptions aside, enlightenment is a process of breaking down the facades and delusions we have about this present moment. We construct our beliefs and notions about reality from the time of birth. Our parents, siblings and loved ones constantly told us how things are. We were forcefully fed their beliefs. Of course, we didn’t know any better, we trusted them and we believed in them. Likewise, they didn’t know any better either because their family did the same to them. In fact, if you are raising children you are probably doing it as well. Think about it. While growing up, there were adults telling us how the world is, how people are, do this, don’t do that, what to believe and what not to believe. This indoctrination is so powerful that it shaped our worldview. When we moved into adulthood, we applied what we already believed and then built upon that foundation. We are perpetually adding layer after layer of beliefs. They all hinge on each other.

Awakening after awakening will slowly dismantle the construction that is our projection onto reality. In doing so, peace, love, and joy become more abundant because this is our true nature. Anger, hate, jealousy, greed, and fear are all symptoms of our own creation. Since we are everything and everything is us, how can we possibly dislike any of it? What is there to fear? The answer is nothing. There is only joy and love for creation because its all beautiful and perfect, and its all us. Beginning to understand this on an experiential level is enlightenment because your perspective is shifting towards Truth. When one experiences every moment in the light of Truth, they are fully awakened. At least that is what I believe.

Why do humans develop eating disorders?

September 9, 2019 / Jayme

Humans are dynamic and complex beings. We engage in a myriad of behaviors, some of which are very destructive. It is estimated that ten percent of Americans will experience an eating disorder at some point in their lives. Most of those who develop this behavior do so during adolescence. This should come as no surprise, since teenagers are prone to increased stress and anxiety from their peers during this precarious phase of “finding oneself.” Rather than dive into the science of eating disorders I would like to focus on the principle reason for these habits. I mean to explore beyond social situations and idiosyncratic behaviors. I will highlight aspects that are foundational to all human beings. With this I will remind the reader that while many would consider the work of science to be that of seeking objective truth, I regard it as dogma, another belief system we cling to in search of answers. Instead, I seek understanding through direct experience; apprehending truth first-hand by way of insights into my true nature, that of humans.

Eating in the absence of hunger pains is used as a distraction mechanism by the ego to alleviate the discomfort that accompanies self-awareness. Ego is the sense of self, the awareness of the idea of a separate self existing inside of an objective reality. This conscious awareness of ourselves manifests as anxiety. I will discuss this idea further in a future post, as it is a rather complex topic. There is an innate equilibrium, or feeling of pleasantness and lack of want accessible to us all. This can become disrupted when certain needs are not met, such as the feeling of hunger. Similarly, we experience physical pain as an indication that something is wrong with the body. If the body is functioning properly, we are unaware of it. When anxiety arises, the natural inclination is to make it go away.

Imagine you are feeling anxious about something. It doesn’t matter what exactly; anxiety arises. You could sit with that anxiety and question its origin, think about the implications of letting it run its course, contemplate the nature of anxiety, or the idea of feeling. There are an infinite number of responses available to you, but that anxiety is so darned uncomfortable. Its like a car alarm that won’t turn off, or a big dumb clown blaring a squeeze horn in your face, whatever. This anxiety is seen as the problem. Its got you feeling off your equilibrium, out of vibration. You are looking for a distraction, something to alleviate this discomfort. Eating will give your mind something to chew on. So you find yourself eating even though you are not hungry. What is it that you are munching? Probably something convenient because getting rid of the anxiety has become paramount, and since media and culture dictate your food choices, convenience means processed food that is full of additives. This kind of indiscriminate eating behavior to solve the problem of anxiety will inevitably lead to a disorder and or poor physical health.

A persistent sensation of ego and strong identification with the body could mean an inclination towards maintaining a certain physical appearance in keeping with the social norm. Since being slim and lean is held as the ideal, at least in western culture, its only natural that some people develop an unhealthy relationship with food and find themselves suffering from anorexia. This is no different from the anxiety discussed previously. The source is still the same, only in this case its running far more rampant.

Of course, there are extensive reasons as to why we develop these behaviors. Science would have us digging into our past, processing our feelings, thoughts, and checking our behavior patterns. There certainly is merit to this kind of work, but I believe it could be taken to another level by simply reducing the preoccupation with the self. Focus less on ego and more on others by way of volunteering. When we devote our time and energy to helping others regardless of the cause, a shift happens. Our awareness begins to expand; our perception moves outside our ego sphere and we begin to notice things like never before. Another method for reducing the focus on our self is to find a constructive use of our free time. Boredom is an interesting challenge many people face. If we engage in an activity that we are passionate about our awareness moves away from ego and becomes centered on the task. “Time flies when you’re having fun.” When our concentration is thoroughly engaged, the thought of ego doesn’t arise.

This is a complex and emotionally charged topic. Therapeutic methods works for some and not others. There are as many approaches as there are counselors and therapists. I don’t want to discount anyone’s suffering. Those stricken with this hardship should seek help in whatever way they can until they find something that works. If we as a society want to do away with eating disorders and any self-destructive behavior for that matter, we will have to stop placing so much emphasis on the self, the ego. Our culture breeds selfies, egocentric reality tv, spotlighting athletes, Hollywood stardom, etc. The thing to remember is that each of us only exists in the light of everyone else.

This life is but a dream

August 28, 2019 / Jayme

Imagine you had the power to control every aspect of your dreams and you could dream anything your imagination came up with. Also, you could alter your sense of time such that you would be able to live an entire lifetime in the course of one night’s sleep. Before drifting off each night you would decide what kind of life you wanted to live. Remember, every event and every experience that you had that lifetime was decided by you before you slept. There would be no surprises or freak accidents to blindside you.

At first you’d orchestrate your greatest ambitions and your wildest fantasies. Perhaps you’d meet the love of your life and cherish each other in a lifelong romance that would rival any Hollywood story. Maybe you would land your dream job and achieve wild success making more money than you could spend. You could decide to host extravagant parties every weekend where you rubbed elbows with celebrities, music artists, and the most influential people in the world. If politics and waging war is your desire, so be it. Do you want to care for poor and destitute children all over the globe? Would you want to be the most attractive man or woman and have the craziest sex with anyone you desired? Its all yours to decide. You have the power.

Perhaps after several months of living lifetimes every night, you would think up a new angle. You would step outside the box so-to-speak. You might decide you wanted to be a superhero or supervillain. Maybe you would travel through time and manipulate the past or spy on the future of humanity. You could dream yourself to be a creature of your own creation and live that life. Create your own planet in a solar system of your design on the edge of a galaxy never heard of. Your dream doesn’t even have to be that elaborate. If you wanted you could be a tree in a forest in northern California. You might choose to be someone’s pet turtle. For that matter, the life of a Koala that sleeps twenty hours a day is available.

This would go on for some time, and at a certain point you would find yourself exhausted for ideas. The next step would of course be to decide to live a life in which you forgot you were dreaming. You would become anxious and maybe even swallowed by grief because to you it was all so real. You would get caught up in danger and toy with death. Whatever you decided, no matter how far reaching or dangerously out of hand you let things get, it wouldn’t matter because eventually you’d wake up. Each night you would push yourself further and further in an attempt to see how far you out you could go. Is there a limit to your fear?

Eventually, you would dream the dream of the life that you are living today.

To be the Godhead, the divine source of all creation, means infinite possibility at your disposal. Just like infants and children are enamored with the games peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek respectively, so too is the Godhead. The act of forgetting that you are the creative force of the universe is the only game in town. The journey to discover your true nature spans hundreds of lifetimes if not a thousand. In the end though, you appreciate the adventure and have a great laugh.

I can’t take credit for this metaphor. It was delivered so eloquently by Alan Watts over fifty years ago. I have of course shared the idea with my own literary spin. It may sound fantastical, but I would urge you not to be dismissive. You may find that it isn’t so far fetched after all. At the very least, entertain the notion that anything is possible. I encourage you to discover for yourself.

I love you so much I could eat you

August 21, 2019 / Jayme

I love you so much I could eat you. I absolutely love this statement. It encapsulates perfectly our innate desire to infinitely expand. I’m sure many people can relate to this line. It’s a favorite among relatives and loved ones. Many of us can recall an overzealous aunt pinching our cheeks, a doting mother smothering us with kisses, or even a proud grandmother squeezing us until we’re sure we’ll suffocate. Some similar quotes: “I’m going to eat your little toes and or fingers. I love you so much, I can’t stand it. You complete me. You’re so adorable I just want to hug you to death.” The list goes on. In the award winning children’s story “Where the Wild Things Are,” there is a famous quote that mimics this sentiment. The wild things are pleading with Max not to leave. They say, “Oh please don’t go – we’ll eat you up – we love you so!”

I found an article that attempts to explain, from a scientific standpoint, why one would say such a thing to someone we love. The author’s premise: making a negative statement balances out the overwhelmingly positive emotion. When one is overcome with such an emotion as love there is an immediate need to counter it such that it brings us back to a homeostasis, an emotional equilibrium if you will. I encourage you to read the article and examine the ideas for yourself. The author’s perspective hinges on two ideas: firstly, that eating something results in an undesirable change and secondly, something that isn’t desirable is negative or bad. I propose that eating results in a necessary change which I will discuss in more detail, and negative and bad are values that we assign. In reality, there is no such thing as good or bad and negative and positive. These are our own projections.

Lets look more closely at the statement, “I love you so much I could eat you.” Love is an extremely powerful emotion. In fact, all sentient beings operate from a position of love. However, there are varying degrees of awareness or consciousness associated with each person’s perspective and so it may not always be readily apparent. Love is the pinnacle emotion, the state most sought after. Its vibration lends itself to tremendous change. When we love, we are open to what is; we are receptive and accepting. Love instills in us the courage to be who we are. It affords us the opportunity to see the magnificence that is life.

To eat something is to take it into our body and allow it to become part of us. In western culture, the body is considered us, the physical representation of who we think we are. Since the act of eating is necessary for the survival of that which we love, ourselves, we must also love the nourishment we take in. Generally speaking, we only eat that which we consider necessary in some way so there must be an element of trust associated with our food. Food is not some inanimate thing that exists solely for the purpose of keeping us alive. Rather we have a relationship with food; we trust that it will nourish us and allow us to survive. Conversely, it trusts that we will use it to become part of us and ultimately allow it to become more than what it once was.

The natural state of life is unity and love for what is. Lets take the most basic example of mother and child. I use the word mother as primary caretaker without attaching the concept of male or female to it. A child instinctually loves its mother figure because the mother is the source of life and survival. As children, we may find it difficult to leave our mother’s side. Exploring the world without Mother seems daunting and risky. We crave our mother’s approval. Before taking action we may look to Mother to see if it is the right move, or even acceptable. Those initial stages where we form a separate identity from Mother are always trying. They are emotionally and physically difficult because we are splitting off from our base instinct of union. This is the fundamental reason adolescence is such a painful and difficult time.

At the other end of the spectrum, as adults, we search for love outwardly and may find it in another. We learn to trust and appreciate what that person has to offer. In doing so we integrate their values, beliefs, and traits into our own. Ultimately, we seek to merge with our beloved such that our sense of self incorporates them. A couple that is in sync functions as a cohesive unit. They think alike, act alike, finish each other’s sentences, etc. Their union has allowed something to emerge that would not be possible otherwise. This is key to any healthy relationship.

The journey of life is predicated upon expansion and unity. The more we experience, the hungrier we get. When our consciousness reaches a certain point, we see that everything is one. Its all us, and we love it so. It is then that we can begin to dissolve our identification as a separate self and merge in love with all that is. Its inescapable that along the way we will eat that which we love.

Sex and gender

August 7, 2019 / Jayme

What does it mean to be a woman? What does it mean to be a man? Do we have to be one or the other? Is femininity limited to women and masculinity limited to men? The sexes is probably the single most important dichotomy that the average human considers. Every encounter is painted by our idea of sex and gender and when someone doesn’t fit into a typical role it can become a sticking point. Notice when you encounter someone, the first thing that registers in your mind is their sex. Sex refers to physiological characteristics while gender is a myriad of character traits, behaviors, and social roles that fall on a spectrum between masculine and feminine. In our western culture, people think that sex implies gender and vice versa. This myth is unraveling every day especially as the dawn of the internet sheds more light upon the human perspective.

Our interactions with each other are predicated upon sex and gender. We have been indoctrinated into this dynamic and so we aren’t aware of it. Not only does another person’s sex or gender affect the way we interact with them, but also our own identifications with our sex and or gender. These sometimes subtle interactions include behavior changes, emotional sensitivity, and heightened awareness. For most people, these changes occur without them even knowing. Only when we become aware of our behavior can we start the work of understanding.

In western culture, there is far too much emphasis on male and female. It begins even before a baby is born. The sex of the baby determines the color of the nursery and what clothes are purchased. There are “gender reveal parties.” This illustrates my point entirely. People are celebrating the revelation of their baby’s sex and they are calling it gender. I’m all for celebrating in the joy of an impending birth, but all too often this is secondary to the knowledge of a child’s sex. Parents are making plans and projecting expectations in relation to whether it’s a boy or a girl.

Women used to be considered the fairer sex. It was thought that women couldn’t take care of themselves and that they needed a man to protect them and manage their affairs. In some cultures today, women are still treated as property and they are considered the source of a man’s uncontrollable sexual desire. These beliefs influenced the way men treated women and even the way women interacted with one another. Even though great strides have been taken away from these myopic ideas, their effects are still echoing through our culture today. In spite of that, women are increasingly being seen as men’s equal. Masculine acts once considered natural such as holding the door for a woman, pulling out her chair, and standing up from the table when she also stands up are falling by the way. While physical beauty remains to be the hallmark of femininity, women are showing that they will not be constrained by such narrow views.

Men aren’t the only perpetrators here. Women have done their share to place men in a box. Men have been the ones tasked with going to war. Only until recently have women been afforded the opportunity to show their courage on the battlefield. Men have dominated leadership roles in the workforce and continue to do so. What most likely began as a masculine instinct to provide has recently begun to acquiesce in favor of a feminine approach to the labor pool. It is thought by some that men aren’t capable of constructive expression of their feelings and so fall prey to the masculine burden of bearing them silently. Not so long ago, it was thought that women should be the ones to fulfill the feminine role of caring for and nurturing the household and family. Today, men are filling these shoes quite well. The interactions between men and women and the idea of femininity and masculinity are complex and extremely nuanced. They are a product of human evolution just as politics and law. The goal is not to condone nor condemn sexist ideology and behavior, but merely point it out so that we can become more conscious.

Those people whose sex does not align with their gender might consider themselves transgender. Many transgender people go out of their way to portray a gender role that is normally ascribed to the opposite of their given sex. For example: a trans woman is a genetically born male who identifies as female. In many cases, she will take on the gender role of hyper-femininity as a means of getting as far as she can from her assigned masculine role because of her male sex. She may gravitate towards feminine color palettes, wear sexy dresses, play coy, and dote on men. These are her ideas of femininity which of course she learned from societal indoctrination. Once we transcend femininity and masculinity we will be free to just be, without trying to fit into a category. These distinctions and labels can be quite muddled because human beings are complex and the factors at play are infinite. This the trouble with categorizing and attempting to confine anything within a definition.

The rise of transgender and genderqueer culture is an expression of the human collective that desires to break free from the dichotomy that has been in place for so long. Do not misunderstand me. Transgender, genderqueer, and the likes have been a feature of humanity since its dawn, but only until recently has it become more accepted. This acceptance has ushered in a blossoming or perhaps a celebration from the constrictive ways of thinking in the past. Thinking outside the typical gender box is really an example of creative expression. All of life is creativity being realized. As humans we are also fulfilling that role. The only rules that exist are the ones we confine ourselves to.

Male and female sex organs came about for the purpose of procreation. Looking towards the future, they offer no clear advantage from an evolutionary perspective especially as we move from a species struggling for survival to one that is creating its own destiny. The human species is already exploring alternatives to the act of sexual intercourse. Lets face it, its inefficient and susceptible to natural deviations. The pleasure aspect from sexual intercourse can and will be transcended. Certainly in the beginning, just as all life has certain needs to proliferate, humans relied on primitive drives such as pleasure. The process of evolution is essentially changes to the way an organism and its reality interact with one another. When something is no longer necessary for life, it ceases to be.

I believe that the future holds a being of no sex or gender. These labels are merely a categorization or even a limitation of the human being. Of course, this is millennia from now and its merely a conceptual expression of how I see the evolution of human life. There will no longer be a need for different sexes. I realize this may be hard to envision, but its no different than the appendix or molar teeth. Because the dichotomies of masculine and feminine or man and woman have existed for so long it could be difficult to imagine a reality without them. Not so long ago the scientific-minded community thought the earth was flat or that the sun moved in relation to the earth and they believed that bloodletting someone could cure them of disease. For people then, these things weren’t questioned only accepted. Just as Pythagoras, Nicolaus Copernicus, and John Hughes Bennett defied the norm, there are those of us who question sex and gender.

It’s all about perspective

July 27, 2019 / Jayme

Perspective is unique to the one experiencing it. “It’s all relative.” This popular statement means the same thing. Every experience or thing exists in relation to something else. This is very important to understand because it is the source of all human conflict. Each human being experiences their own reality. This is the reason we struggle to understand one another. This concept of a separate or unique reality is a little difficult to apprehend given our indoctrination, but maintain an open mind for the duration of this post and it may become more clear.

The dogma that science adheres to is that reality is an objective thing that can be measured and observed and the entire universe resides inside that reality. Through my own experience, I can assuredly state this is not the case. However, it is what ninety-nine percent of humans buy into. Do not make the mistake of assuming that the majority is infallible. The majority is also just a collective perspective. The universe is set up in such a way that we think we are separate from everything else and vice versa. It is the atlas of the grand design for us to believe this. Only when we transcend this belief of separateness does this become clear. That is beyond the scope of this post though and it will be discussed in future posts as it is a more advanced topic. Instead, this post will dissect perspective to show how it shapes our reality and our relationship to one another.

This may seem trivial and obvious, but it is hugely important to acknowledge and understand the concept of relativity. We only know darkness because of light. Something is only soft in relation to something hard. Silence can only exist relative to sound. Something only arises in the presence of another. A thing can only exist if you give it attributes or qualities. Those labels that you ascribe to said thing are in relation to another thing. In describing a tree we may say that it has a slender, brown, rough texture on one end and a robust, green, waxy and smooth texture on the other end. The adjectives used to describe the tree separate it and make it distinct from the wide, boxy, straight-lined, grey house next to it. Thus the tree emerges in our conscious mind and we give it the label of “tree.” This is how we create all of reality. We divide it then label those divisions so as to maintain a separate egoic self. Science is very good at doing this. In fact it is the entire premise of science. It is the nature of the egoic mind to separate, quantify, label, define, etc. Notice on a daily basis how often you find yourself pointing out distinctions between things and people. Its so habitual that we aren’t even aware we are doing it.

One thing to consider is that when we define something we put limitations on it. A frog can only be a frog based on the qualities that we believe it to possess. Therefore, anything not having the properties of a frog by definition, cannot be a frog. It must be something else. And so it goes on and on to infinity. When we encounter someone, the mind immediately projects onto them labels and categories so as to be able to make distinctions between self and other. The egoic mind must make these distinctions in order to maintain the sense of self. So when we define those we meet, we are in a sense denying them to be other than these definitions. For example: we meet a well groomed man wearing a suit who happens to be driving a Mercedes Benz. Our mind has preconceived notions about people who present this way. Before we know anything about this man we have already put him in categories and given him qualities. Our interaction with him will be jaded and the potential to experience him as he truly is will be gone. This is the game reality is playing with itself. Not only are we the perpetrators, but we are participants. Some would say we are victims because there is something much larger than ourselves at play here. Victim is a label the ego likes to use. One who recognizes the game takes responsibility for it and the concept of victim no longer exists.

Since humans have the gift of self-awareness as well as the ability to form complex communication we find ourselves in a sea of vastly different perspectives. In speaking to one another, we find that other people don’t experience reality the way we do. Everyone has a unique perspective and opinions abound. This is the origin of all human conflict. We absolutely cannot understand why we disagree. The reason is that there is no objective version of reality. Do you honestly think that Mozart’s reality was the same as yours? Do you think Taylor Swift experiences reality the same way you do? Is your version of reality the same as Hitler’s? These examples may be extreme, but they more clearly illustrate the point. Every human system interprets sensory input differently. No two people identify with the same thoughts or feelings. The mind conceives of different concepts when interpreting experiences. Everyone’s perspective has been and continues to be shaped by their experiences. This is so fundamental, but almost no one considers it. No two experiences are the same, and each human being is the sum of their experiences. Since everyone’s perspective is unique there must be as many versions of reality as there are perspectives. Reality is ever evolving infinite perspectives overlapping which collaborate and co-create.

In reality, there is no such thing as moral objectivity. The idea of right and wrong doesn’t inherently exist. These are ideas that we have created and projected onto reality. As a collective society we decide how we want to live by creating laws and social norms. In nature it isn’t bad to commit murder; we as a collective have assigned that value to murder. Again, this is very important to comprehend. We move through each day labeling things as right and wrong, good and bad, pretty and ugly, etc. These are all arbitrary values we project onto our experiences. By doing so we paint ourselves into a corner and create our own suffering.

When we incessantly label and define everything around us we are experiencing our own projections. Mooji said, “You are perceiving what you are conceiving.” Not only do we deny ourselves the perfection that is happening all around us at every moment, but we also limit our experience. This life can be so much more than the mind can imagine if only we’d be open to the possibility. Concerning our interactions with others, if we can be mindful that everyone’s perspective is unique and that placing values and judgements on our experiences only limits them, we’d find ourselves living a joyous and harmonious life.

My responsibility is limitless

July 5, 2019 / Jayme

“My responsibility is limitless. My action is limited.” When I heard these words, I was astounded at how much weight they carried. These words spoken by Sadhguru, affected me in a transformative way. It was as if I’d known all along, but had forgotten. So when I heard this I remember thinking, “Of course I’m responsible.” Sadhguru is someone who has touched me deeply and the sacrifices that he has made and continues to make on behalf of humanity are monumental. Sadhguru is responsible for starting the Isha Foundation which is a non-profit global organization that contributes in various ways. Of course, I would encourage everyone to discover this impact for themselves rather than take my word for it.

I shall bring clarity to these two statements. The first: “My responsibility is limitless.” This means I am accountable indefinitely. There is no category of life where this does not apply. I am accountable for my well-being. I am accountable for the well-being of others. I am accountable for the human impact on earth. I am accountable for the life that is happening. This notion may seem radical and one may find themselves asking, “How am I accountable for what other people do.” To that I would answer, “You cannot control other people’s behavior, but when you take responsibility for it you have the power to affect people in a way that does influence their behavior. If someone has a penchant for anger accompanied by disregard for others and you show them kindness and compassion, they will be forever changed. This isn’t to say that they will be reformed on the spot. More likely, the kindness you show them will contribute to their growth which has no expiration date. We may not always be aware of it, but our attitudes, thoughts, and behavior are affecting and being affected by others around us. The second statement: “My action is limited.” This means that I have a finite mode. There are limitations on what I can spend my time on and the methods I use. It is not reasonable to assume I can clean up all of the trash in world’s oceans, but I can be mindful of the waste I create and arm myself with the knowledge of how it accumulates. My behavior will indirectly impact those I encounter resulting in more people becoming aware. All changes start off with a single thought before they become the grandest of manifestations. Since my actions are limited it becomes ever more important to focus my efforts mindfully.

Once you accept responsibility for the quality of your life you are empowered. When you truly get it; when these words echo within, the truth reverberates throughout and alters your perspective. A paradigm shift occurs and you understand that you are the one accountable. There is nothing that can stop you except for you. There is no longer a desire to blame anyone or anything. You are a victim no more. You are now the author, the creator of your life.

Most people, and yes I do mean most, haven’t accepted this. Instead, they look to other sources for their unhappiness. Its subtle, but this is done for a very specific reason. People want to play at being the victim. They have to believe that things happen to them in order to perpetuate the game. If they are the character within the fiction rather than the author, they are allowed to be at the mercy of the ups and downs, the anxiety, the fear, the sorrow, the laughter, the love, and the joy that make up the deliciousness that is life. This careful arrangement is the result of people not ready to accept the truth of who they are. This is alright because we all have our own path and we are ready in our own time.

How to change behavior

July 2, 2019 / Jayme

Behavioral change is not difficult. The process itself is actually quite easy. The key is the willingness to change. That is usually the missing component. Too often people set out to change their behavior, but end up failing. This is evident in that the self-help industry is worth over ten billion dollars annually. We like the idea of change and we certainly muse on its outcomes. Thus, we embark on the journey only to quickly find out that it is a lot of work. A temporary behavior change may result in the face of fear. The nature of fear is such that it cannot produce lasting results and so people will almost always fall back into their modus operandi. There are of course exceptions to every rule. However, those shackled to fear are certainly not living a harmonious life. Rather than focus on resistance though I will highlight the process of change for those willing. All one needs to start is the genuine desire.

For the sake of this post, lets define behavior as thoughts, spoken words, or actions. These three are foundational for how we express ourselves and also what we experience. That means our behavior really is the cornerstone for what kind of life we live. Again, until this connection is made for you on an experiential level, you won’t have a desire to alter your patterns.

With the desire in place we can begin. The first phase is arguably the most difficult. However, if one can master it, the rest of the process falls into place seamlessly. Be aware; be present. Notice every thing you say, do, and every thought you identify with. If you can do this, you’re halfway there. By noticing your behavior patterns you can start to unravel and modify them.

Lets use the following example: you want to stop saying, “I’m sorry” because you have realized that you are apologizing for your behavior or even the behavior of others in an unhealthy way. Start by being aware every time you use those two words. Recognize it the moment it happens and then make a conscious effort to acknowledge that you no longer wish to say, “I’m sorry.” Replace it with something appropriate to the situation, but make sure its empowering and reinforces the new behavior you wish to develop. Do this every time without exception. If you miss an opportunity, don’t berate yourself. Instead, recognize that it happened and remind yourself you’ll notice it next time.

At first you will slip, but its natural since it has been a regular pattern in your behavior. It takes time to undo that part of you that so much energy has gone into. This ties into the ego perfectly. The ego is the idea of who we think we are, and also the collection of energy that makes up who we’ve become and how we experience reality. You are molding and reshaping your very essence. This will take time and persistence, just as the behavior you are trying to affect did. In doing so, you are also empowering yourself by becoming more conscious and taking control over how you experience life.

You Are A Buddha